Monday, April 23, 2007

In Perspective (edited with explanation below)

I’ve had reason to put a few things in perspective in recent days after much pondering! This is about friendship and friends. Have you ever had someone extend their hand in friendship and even though you’re a bit cautious you still grab it. You try hard with this friend continuing to reach out to said friend only to have your hand slapped away, not once but numerous times. You don’t know why it’s happening and you don’t fret about it, per se, but it does cause a nagging in the back of your mind. That happened to me in recent months and caused some sadness and slight hurt feelings.

Well, let me tell you what has happened to me recently! A couple of weeks ago a friend stopped by with a surprise for me. Are you familiar with the Patchwork Party that several shops are doing using Moda’s Sanctuary line of fabric? I’d been on the fence about whether or not I wanted to order all the blocks and finishing kit. She made “the” decision for me – when she bought the blocks for herself she bought them for me, as well. Oh my goodness, I was stunned!

When we returned from our Choo-Choo trip this week end I found a cute little gift bag waiting by our front door for me. In the gift bag was this adorable book Inquire Within by Mary Engelbreit with an awesome message.
From the inside flap: “Life is filled with twists and turns that can leave us confused about which way to go. This little book from Mary Engelbreit reminds us that the answers to life’s difficult questions can usually be found within ourselves”.

I will be focused on friends like these and not allow myself to worry about the “friend” that continues to slap away my hand in friendship. I can’t force someone to be my friend no matter how much I extend my hand.

Please don't allow this post to make you sad just let it help you put something in perspective.

explanation edit: Please, please do not feel sorrow and sadness for me - I'm fine (yes, my feelings have been hurt but I'll survive). This post was merely to show that we should look at things not as they appear but as they really are. See, I believe that our perception is our reality. I truly believed that said friend was a friend when in fact that was just my perception and not hers - that's ok. I need to look at my friends Terri and Diane who brought surprises and gifts to me with an open heart and friendship. Thank you for your kind words and words of encouragement. :-)


Linda said...

How blessed you are Darlene, to have a friend who see's the hurt and confusion and does what a "friend" does, reaches out in love. I like to look at this type of situation as seasons, there are seasons for everything and everyone. Some friends will only stay with us for a short season, while others will be there for many more seasons to come. You lucky duck, nice to have a friend who will spoil you, when you need it most.
Of course we'll all want to see photo's of the work in progress.

Doodlebug Gail said...

You are so fortunate to have friends like that who love you so much and make good decisions for you. Happy sewing.

And about the other "friend" - I was going to say what Linda said .... there are seasons for everyone, perhaps her season/reason for needing you is over. I had a couple of friends like that when my sister was dying - the friendships changed after my sister died, they were different ..... and that was okay because the situation had changed for us all. Does that make sense?

Don't beat yourself up about it - you're a generous giving soul with, I suspect, a lot of people in your life who love you a lot.


PS : Check my blog to see what I got this morning. :-)

Nadine said...

Darlene, dear,
I feel so sorry for you (and angry against that mean "friend"), and I feel so grateful that a true one felt your worries and did an act of kindness and friendship to enlighten your life ! Unfortunately, there is a sad reality that some people change against us, no matter our efforts and patience... This reminds me of some words in the Bible : "when you don't feel welcome somewhere, don't insist too long, pass your way, shake the dust from your sandals and go elsewhere" (sorry for the bad translation). I think it's right...

Anyway, here is a good friend of yours you would be sooo happy to knock your door! (and I'm certainly not the only one).

Can't wait seeing what you're going to do with your nice presents !

(((HUGS))) and biiig smile!


Nadine said...

OOPS ! Nervous, again !
End of my previous msg : "anyway......" please read : "WHO would be so happy to knowk your door" (and not "you")
Sorry, dear !

Hugs again!

Nicole said...

Darlene, it is sad that sometimes, for whatever reason, people we love or admire let us down. As we make our way along life's path, any number of events or situations can cause one to go in a different direction than our friends. It can be heart wrenching, but as Budda said, the one thing you can count on is that "Things Change". Even if one friend leaves your circle, there will always be memories of what you shared and room for more friends in the future. And the hurt will lessen in time.

How fortunate you are to have such a thoughtful friend to recognize that you needed a little treat! Can't wait to see what you do with your Sanctuary fabric!


Carole said...

Yep, friends are wonderful and nice to have around! Glad you were able to get a "perspective" on the situation. Enjoy your treasure! Keep well!

Nancy said...

How wonderful to have a special friend like that. And sad that the other person chose to end your friendship. but sometimes that's just the way life goes and if you dwell on it you'll make yourself crazy. (((HUGS)))

Carol said... are a very wise woman...and very lucky to have such a good friend. Life is such an interesting journey...some days I wish there was an instruction book :) Enjoy your wonderful friend.

May Britt said...

I have experienced the same thing. I have had friends that took advantage of me, and when they got what they wanted they left whitout any words. I have learned my lesson. Now I got so many dear nice friends that I can share everything with. Who I respect and they respect me back. True friendship will always last forever, both in good and bad times. The one that just leave you behind is not worth any thoughts. A big hug from me. I wish I could catch a plane today and come over and hug you.

Patti said...

I'm so glad you have friends like these to help you put life into proper perspective. It is so easy to fall into the doldrums because of the way you perceive you are being treated. Especially if making friends isn't the easiest thing for one to do - speaking for myself here. Grab that half-full glass and enjoy every minute of what's there - which sounds exactly like you are doing my friend! Hugs to you . . . .

Tazzie said...

Ohhh Darlene, I'm sending big hugs your way. Who on earth wouldn't want to be your friend. I don't think they deserve your time - not thought or deed.
*big hugs*

Leigh said...

Oh Darlene, I think we all know how you feel. Sometimes though, you find friends where you least expect them. I am finding this while I'm incapacitated.

At least you know you've got lots of "imaginary" friends here, and to a lot of us you are a very REAL friend.


Happy Valley Quilter said...

Isn't it great when we find those amazing friends who treat us with love and kindness? They make the world a better place!

Clare said...

All weather friends are the best. Fair weather friends aren't! I too have learnt the hard way and have been accused of being very standoff'ish because of it. First impressions are always what they appear to be and I have the scars to prove it.

Dawn said...

I can't help but think you will never lack for friends!

Libby said...

Don't let the meanies get you down *s* So many wonderful people in the world to know and enjoy . . . like bloggers *s*

orchidlover said...

I'm sorry that you've been hurt by a 'friend'. I've been in that situation as a 'friend' took all i could give but disappeared when I was in need. It does hurt, but you soon realise that it is their loss. treasure the true friends you know you have

love and hugs gina xxx

swooze said...

Yes I am hurt too by people that I think of as a friend when they don't return the same feeling so I totally understand. I have become more selective about those I consider a friend as I get older but still give all a chance! Wha a great gift from some great friends!

Wendy said...

Darlene, I'm sending you a really BIG HUG, that always makes me feel good. Better yet...I'm catching the next plane to give you in person.
Take care and don't let the "not so nice" people ruin your day.

Hanne said...

Very wise said Darlene - to look at things they really are and not as they appear. More power to you! Smiles from across the big pond :-)

Vicky said...

It hurts when you realize a friendship has ended. It hurts a lot. But you have wisely chosen to move forward, and hopefully not dwell on what is gone.

Hope you feel you can count on all of us!!!


Juliann in WA said...

sounds like you are a lifelong learner - not always fun but so good for our souls

sharon said...

I was reading your blog for the first time and as I scrolled Ifound the one about the friend who keeps pushing you away. Boy can I relate to that one. I thought I had a friend for life but that was not the case. It hurt realy bad for along time. Just enjoy the friends that are true friends I say and forget the others who hurt you. By the way, I love your quilts.

sharon said...

Whoever this was wasn't a TRUE friend so don't waste your time and energy being hurt by them. Just remember you have all of us out here in blogville!!!! LOL!!!! And we all love ya a whole bunch!!!

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